the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
