Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
