i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
