I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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