I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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