I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
tell me about the eggs
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