Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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