Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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