She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
