I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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