do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my shit smells like andre
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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