Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
