i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
