I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
