They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
