I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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