just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
