Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He better not be in your backpack
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
