I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
