had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
