It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
