She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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