you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
