I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize