Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
