Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Randomize
