i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
