so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
