My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
