New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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