I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize