filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
