Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
