another moral hangover. fuck.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize