Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They are going to name an STD after you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
