i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have aggressive nipples.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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