I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
