her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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