He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
