3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
