You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have fence marks all over my body
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
