all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
