despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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