Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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