The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
