I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
