i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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