When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
