Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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