How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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