So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
