Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
