You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize