I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i dont even know how to be here
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize