and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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