Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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