Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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