I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I know her cup size but not her name....
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