dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
