he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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