it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
